Change.

Frustration.

Seeping into dinner and conversation.

Tainting our body language.

Knotting the simplest of things into a tangled mess.

My vision clouded by struggle and angst. That’s all I could see ahead. Angst. Struggle.

What if he just changed?

What if the the things that drove me to distraction could change?

What if he changed?

Wouldn’t everything be simpler…better?

We would be one of those couples always posing for a picture, holding hands, faces close.

Then we could have a meaningful conversation composed with notes of harmony.

We could work to make each other’s dreams a reality.

Perhaps we could be a team again.

If he would just change.

The internal conversation flip flopped with a thought that was not my own.

What if for each trait you want to change you had to trade in something you love about him?

 

 

What?

Trade a frustration for something you love about him.

Frustrated by his impatience? Fine. Let’s make a deal.

Trade his encouragement of your writing and chosen profession (mom) for some patience.

Back up. Back up. Back up.

No deal.

How about this option?

Frustrated by his plentiful opinions? That can be fixed. Just trade in his generosity.

Oh.

I’ll pass.

How about this one?

Trade in his commitment to his family and you’ll get help more help around the house.

What kind of deal is that?

It’s what you want, isn’t it?

Is it?

Or maybe I actually have what I want and what I need.

Maybe imperfect him is perfect for imperfect me.

Maybe I can appreciate the man before me instead of wishing things could change.

Maybe this is more about me than him?

About contentment. Grace. Forgiveness.

Perhaps my demand for change is focused on the wrong person.

What if I just changed?

Could everything be simpler…better?

What if I led with grace instead of a pointing finger?

We could be one of those couples posing for a picture, holding hands, faces close.

Then maybe we could have a meaningful conversation composed with notes of harmony.

We could work to make each other’s dreams a reality.

Perhaps we could be a team again.

If I could just change.

 


 

The Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study (OBS) is so timely…they are doing The Husband Project by Kathi Lipp. Want things to change? Take 21 days to begin to change the way you love your husband. Join the OBS here. The study begins on June 20. Want to win The Husband Project book? Comment on the blog or on my Facebook post about one of your favorite traits your husband possesses. Drawing will be Friday at 5pm!

HP-Cover

9 thoughts on “Change.

  1. This is wonderful! I remember reading a book by Stormie Omartian, Power of a Praying Wife. I thought, “this will be great! I’ll learn to pray prayers that will help my husband change”. The first chapter was all about ME CHANGING! Ugh… But I can say after just celebrating 21 years, I love him more today and we still love being close and having alone time! He is my best friend!

    Like

  2. Love this! A great reminder that change in my marriage & my life must start with me. It is so easy to see where others mess up & its even easier to brush by my own mistakes.
    After 16 years of marriage, what I love about my husband is still his fun-ness. Its why I fell in love with him & why I love him still. The whole atmosphere lights with excitement when he walks in the door. He’s just fun & he’s teaching me to be fun. I’m a slow learner!

    Like

Leave a comment